Conquering

Tuesday morning, I will go under the knife to show this mouth who's boss once and for all. I imagine you'd like a little background. I'm sorry that I know not how to condense it. Grab a cup of coffee.

Approximately twenty one years ago... wait right there. Is this real? This is a monumental post. I'm not sure that I can really remember another time when I referenced something as happening twenty one years ago. Let me catch my breath.

Okay. Moving right along.

I had a softball incident that rendered me toothless. Yes, my front tooth was formally removed of its duty. Momentarily, anyway. Soon after the warm up to top all warm ups (I'm admitting that this was pre-game action), I did actually make the most important catch of my career. I caught my tooth! My front tooth was literally in the palm of my hand. Can we say mortified? I should definitely confess to you some important facts:

1) It did not hurt. I'm sure it was adrenaline, as my Mom is quick to remind me that she does not believe me to have a high pain tolerance.

2) It was my most vain moment to date. I can be honest enough to tell you that I was yelling and it was probably quite dramatic. "I'm... gonna... be... so... UGLY!" There, I put it out there. Nothing mattered more to me in that moment than my appearance.

3) I was 14 and going to start high school in a matter of weeks.

4) I also had a starring role as Dainty June in Gypsy. In a few short days the musical was opening in our city theatre. Did I mention I was now missing my front tooth? And, my face was beginning to swell to epic proportions.

5) My Mom had the nerve to drop my tooth as we were rushing to the dentist's office. Okay, so she was devastated about her error. We soon found it. My pearly white had made a great escape down the steering wheel column! I can't make this stuff up. Fortunately, there was a small opening at the bottom, and she was able to recover it.

6) The tooth was washed in milk and quickly put back in its proper place.

The repair was a process and enough dental work to leave me scarred for life. Over the years, this tooth has caused more anxiety than I wish I had to admit. There's something about a front tooth that seems sort of critical.

Several years after the original assault, I was an excited college gal in the orthodontist's office getting my braces removed. Without any sort of caution by my doctor, I went to check out my straight teeth in the mirror only to find myself scratching one with my fingernail. Frantically. I was desperate to get the spot off of my front tooth before learning that the old softball injury had run its course. My tooth was officially dead. And, I had the "doo doo" spot to prove it. Yes, my friends and I lovingly called it "doo doo tooth." Call me mature. And, I had to sport that awful thing until another dentist could come to my rescue.

I did mention this was taking place during college, right? All of my friends wanted to see my new braceless teeth. It was as if I was living the trauma all over again. Adding injury to insult, I was given a temporary tooth until a porcelain one was placed permanently. It was yellow. The dentist had the audacity to give an already traumatized 20-year old a tooth that would be likened to that of a chain smoker with a history of more than the sum total of my years lived up to that point. Oh, and that smoker would've also had a cup of coffee each day. Dramatic you say? Maybe. I'm just telling you how it felt.

At last, the tooth situation was behind me. Repairs were made and life went on.

Until now.

A couple of months ago, I was told that this precious piece of porcelain would soon fall out of my mouth! This was like salt in an old wound that apparently never really healed.

I'd be lying if I said I'm looking forward to the process. But I'll soon sport a tooth that should stand the test of time. And, I'm imagining all the stories to come. You know the ones... Trying to get through the airport and slowing down the line because I have a piece of metal in my jawbone. And, well, you've learned by now that I don't know how to be concise with this history of mine.

I think this post is simply proof that I get a little anxious thinking about it. Please say a prayer for me. After all my family has gone through this year, I must confess that being knocked out is a bit unnerving. But, the pharmacist has assured my husband that I will give ample material for blackmail in the future. And, the doctor explained that I'll look as though I've been beaten with a bat. I mean, what more could a girl want?

This will either go one of two ways for my blog:
1) I'll be out of the loop for a few days. Or,
2) I'll have the most interesting drug-induced material to date.

And either way, you should just know that I'll all the while be wearing a clear retainer that just so happens to house a precious temporary tooth. Maybe I'll take it out while I type just so you can imagine what that would look like. I aim to please, people.

Thanks in advance for any prayers you might say. I'm hopeful that one procedure will get this piece of metal in place rather than the possible second one next year.

Now then, where's that valium?

giving thanks where it's due

With so little face time on this site over the past year, I can't expect you to know what all has taken place in my life. Let's just say it's been a big year. A growing season. There have been some struggles, some fears, and some stare contests with mortality. I may not have personally looked death in the face, but I prayed two family members through those moments. And I walked away changed.

I faced some of my own demons this year. I'm not sure if you've ever looked yourself in the eye to find that you look a bit different than you've always perceived yourself to be. I have. This year I faced some ugly truths about myself. I learned that my heart wasn't full of roses, love letters and sweet melodies. It's not that I ever assessed and determined I was perfect in years prior. It's just that I was finally ready to get to the bottom of some things I'd been ignoring, if not denying, for far too long.

I wrestled. I prayed. I cried. I searched. I scoured. I confessed. I received. I grew.

I've not conquered, but I'm moving forward. The Lord is not really into stagnancy. And, well, I'm grateful that He's not. But I'll be sure to tell you that maturation is not pain-free, people. The pain of grace is beautiful. And painful. Imagine that.

As Thanksgiving comes around this year, I find that I have a deep sense of gratitude. And it really does go deeper than a thankfulness for what I have. I am grateful for what God is doing in my life, for where He is taking me in my innermost being.

This house.

For you, this is a picture of a house. (Please excuse the quality of the photo. I didn't want our almost-neighbors to think I'm totally cuckoo. More importantly, I saw no reason to freeze off my buns.)

For me, this image is symbolic of the process it's taken me to simply arrive here. To consider, to let go, to dig deep, to trust, to accept, to obey, to anticipate, to laugh, to birth. Blessings are on the horizon. You know the kind. They're not man-made, and they're not earned. They're the gifts received when we're willing to step back and see them. And they're usually not really about us.For me, this image is symbolic of the process it's taken me to simply arrive here. To consider, to let go, to dig deep, to trust, to accept, to obey, to anticipate, to laugh, to birth. Blessings are on the horizon. You know the kind. They're not man-made, and they're not earned. They're the gifts received when we're willing to step back and see them. And they're usually not really about us.

My heart is flooded with gratitude. There is a profound recognition that God is in the details. He cares about me and my place in this world. And, He's using three very incredible people quite heavily in this pilgrimage.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. 

May it be a time of giving praise to The One to whom it's due.

P.S. If you're needing a little praise inspiration, I think this song might do the trick. It's moving me. 

snowFALL

Though the writing was on the wall for a while in advance (thanks to my favorite social media meteorologist!), I was not quite prepared for the wintry mix that came our way a few days ago. However, I will be the first to tell you that it's been nothing but JOY. Okay, so there's the part that isn't so fun for my State Trooper hubby. For those of us who just determined it best to stay home, we were able to love this beautiful snowFALL. Get it? It was snowing and it's fall. Okay, I just couldn't walk away from that play on words.

I liken the snow effect to that of sugar around here. Where there is snow and there are small humans, there is a bouncing off the wall phenomenon that occurs indoors. And, what kind of parent wouldn't add injury to insult by special treats like peanut butter toast with hot cocoa for breakfast? Or a spiced pumpkin cake to whip up from scratch? I mean, confining weather does call for baking. Does it not?

As you can tell by the photos, these littles of mine had a splendid time exploring in the backyard. I might not have gotten a great deal of laughter on record. But, a girl can only accomplish so much when she doesn't want to get herself bundled to the hilt. 

Fall is my favorite for so many reasons. And, a few of them are shown in these photos. 

My boys. 

Pumpkin.

Pansies.

Quality time.

Tiny, puffy coats.

Surprise snowfall.

Coonskin caps.

You can't see...

The Warm drinks.

Mulled Cider candle.

Tunes.

Games.

Christmas cards (They're already addressed! Who am I?)

Soup.

Twinkling lights being wrapped around branches.

Thanks being written down on paper leaves.

Overwhelmed hearts.

This was an epic weekend, friends. (I don't generally use the word epic unless I'm feeling especially hip. I guess I do today.)

How was your weekend? 

If it didn't involve a waterproof glove concoction, then we might've one upped you. 

Now let me get back to Thanksgiving planning, would ya? I've got to make hay while the sun's shining. What I meant to say was that I need to get my grocery list made while the little people are sleeping. 

Ready, set, go.

This thing on?

Hello, again.
What's that?
You don't remember me?

Okay, okay. Enough of the funny business. The reality is that I've not forgotten you. And, I've thought long and hard about this here blog. I've struggled with the idea of a blog altogether. I mean, how many of us really need anything else vying for our time and attention? Have you noticed how many bloggers there are? Who can even count them? It doesn't take more than a quick glance of your social media feed to realize that there is a heapin' helpin' of opinions out there. The reality is that we've all got opinions. And, well, a lot of them are different. 

So, here's the deal. I'm not here to give you twelve reasons you should do this or that.  It's not my ambition to convince you that I've got this whole thing figured out. And, well, I'm sure I could provide a video at any given time to assure you that life around this nest is flat out messy.  Perfection is not really my bag.

On that note, allow me to add. This nest is getting a little messier. We're changing things up. Again.  I dare say that you'll never accuse us of being boring. My friends, this little flock is taking flight. We're not traveling far, but we're indeed starting a very new journey. And, perhaps that's precisely why I have renewed wind under my wings to share a word or two with you over the coming weeks.



Whizbang and I are tackling something big. Okay, so it's not big for everyone. And, the reality is that we're not doing it for anyone else. Over time, a conviction has taken root and we're acting on it. This family is trying to get debt free. And, that has come to necessitate some tough decisions. And some fairly drastic changes. The degree of drastic depends on whom you are talking with around here. To my husband, this is just a simple step. As the stay at home Momma of these parts, I view it as a leap into the great unknown. It's a matter of perspective. How do you interpret an 84-year old, one bathroom home? I can't imagine you'd be thinking anything other than the reality that this is going to be chock full of fun, frosted with good times, and topped with a unicorn. No worries. I'm not that out of touch. I have my concerns. But...

At the end of the day, it's about our faith. And,  for us, this is the right thing to do.

Don't worry. I'm not going to try to convince you that you need to do what we're doing. But, is it okay for me to share with you what exactly we're up to and maybe even why we're doing it? Isn't that what roots friendship, anyway? It's actually knowing what makes one another tick, the desperate need we have for grace and prayer, and the necessity of loving relationships to come alongside to sustain, encourage and sharpen us in the journey.

So, you may get to know me a little better in the coming days. I'd like to know you better as well. Let's not have a one-sided relationship, okay?

We're refangling things again.
This isn't a newfangled nest for nothing.
I hope you'll stick around.
You are wanted and needed around here, folks. If nothing else, I may be losing sleep over a light fixture decision. I suspect you have some ideas. And, better than that, maybe you know how to give me a swift kick in the rear to remind me of what's important.

By the way, can you believe how big my babies are?



It's okay if you think they're incredible.



I'm not going to pretend that I think otherwise.

Welcome back.

P.S.  Rachel Photographs in OKC has done a phenomenal job of capturing the personality of our family if I do say so myself.

Ladylike Indulgences Abound

Let's just overlook that temptation to need an explanation for what's happening with my blog of late. Life, people. It's happening. And, I'm enjoying it. (Okay, so maybe the viral plagues aren't my fave!)

Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of hosting a sip and see. The guests of honor were my sister-in-law and precious new niece.

Tell me that face isn't irresistible!

You may or may not know that few things bring me as much joy as having the chatter of women and a delectable spread in my home. It may sound strange but, in those moments, I feel like I'm living out my design. It's that big of a joy to me. So, you can imagine that I really get into the planning and details. Having said that, I should add a couple of qualifiers.

One: I despise Pinterest. For me, personally, it brings nothing more than a feeling of inadequacy and certainty of failure. If it's not a simple inspiration, it's probably not happening around here.

Two: I also have two toddlers in my home. Trying to pull off something feminine is destined to fall a tiny bit short.

I was pumped to go for a tea party theme. Months ago, I was involved in hosting a shower for another precious babe. At that time, I did type in a quick search in the dreaded aforementioned website and came across the darling idea for using burlap and brown bags on flowers. As I was gathering my inspirations last week, I had a eureka moment. Being a girl who does pretty as I've said so many times before, I thought it would be genius to use spring flowers indoors. Rather than spend money on lackluster bouquets, I'd "pot" flowers in tea-party-worthy-adornments and later grow them in my containers outside. Folks, it was one of my finest moments.

Though I've yet to divulge the details, I should also add that I've been "off" of sugar for nearly two months now. But, when a girl's got baking for guests to do, there's no time to mess around. Food is a part of the party, people. In about a year, I think I could master the idea of "sugar-free" baking. Until then, feast your eyes...

(blueberry scones with orange glaze, savory breakfast scones, egg salad on wheat bread, cucumber and cream cheese on white bread, and PW mixed fruit with vanilla orange sauce. all recipes found online and easily shared!)

(Better Homes and Southern Living never fail to provide perfect cake recipes. Strawberries and Cream was a beauty! And, my favorite will ever remain Texas Blonde Sheet Cake.)

Even farmboys like my littles can get behind a tea party!

Though all of the details make me giddy, I must confess to you that I have one goal when experiencing the honor of hostess. Okay, so it's a multi-faceted goal.

Here it is:

My prayer is that the guest/guests of honor feel special and loved. I desire that the ladies who leave my home feel refreshed and encouraged. 

If the details fall into place, that's great. 

If hearts were warmed, mission accomplished.

Rest assured that I'm always available for ideas if you're up to the task but not sure how to tackle it. I delight in coming up with the perfect menu. And, the decor is like icing on the cake. At the same time, simplicity has got to be the name of the game! 

Have you taken time for tea with a friend lately? I suggest you do so. 

And celebrate a new life while you're at it.

Back From The Dead

It's about time we breathe life back into this here blog. I won't even bother explaining where the past few weeks have gone. They've been full of unexpected circumstances.

In case you were dying to know (I accidentally walked into that coincidental saying), my computer survived. Not only did my computer make it out alive, but so did every last piece of information that I'd saved on it over the years. If you're not sure about your back up system, I highly encourage you to make sure you have one in place. I testify to the fact that a little effort to back things up really can save you a lot of grieving and loss later.

While we're on the subject, I also want to share with you something far more personal. My sister has a story to tell. Because it's not my own, I will not divulge the details. What I would like to tell you is that I cannot express my overwhelming gratitude that she is alive and well today! Surgery is not a

small thing no matter how simple the process. Last week, I was the sister sitting in the waiting room on pins and needles. I was the one who was wondering if the doctor would ever bring good news. It was the most surreal experience of my life. And, I'm convinced I'll never forget the sheer magnitude of the emotions I felt when we received a phone call from the operating room to inform us that the doctors found the problem and had a solution. Tears involuntarily flowed down my cheeks. And, well, God was certainly given the glory in a very loud way. Life is short and unpredictable, my friends. If you have anything that has come between you and a loved one, I cannot help but implore you to make things right. Perspective is a powerful thing. And, grace is even greater!

Speaking of perspective and grace, I must say that I regularly pray that my worldview is fixed around my Redeemer. I've been reminded far too often of late that I have very little control. If I focus on what I cannot do, I become discouraged. But in focusing on what God can do, I find security. I've come to the realization that trusting someone else is not easy. It's not the simple fix. But the reward of giving over the reigns to the One who made me is great. And, along with a great many others, I'll be considering Christ this week. I'll be pondering his life on earth, death on the cross, and victory over the grave.

Though I'm excited that this blog has been resuscitated, it's not the best news.

I'm speechless when it comes to describing my joy to have watched my sister make her comeback after struggling so intensely. Talk about good news.

And, somehow, I must confess that what makes all of the good stuff actually sweet is Jesus!

This blog is revived, my sister is breathing, and Jesus is alive!

On my heart this week...
2 Corinthians 5:14, 15 For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again."

P.S. I can hardly believe it was four years ago that Whizbang and I were in Italy. The picture was taken there and just makes me think of good news. I sure didn't want to leave you hangin'.

Growing Anticipation

It's probable that you figured out my appointment on Monday didn't work out quite as perfectly as I'd hoped. When it's the hard drive, it's not good.

And, well, it was the hard drive.

In moments like these, the desperate ones, we become more resourceful as human beings. And I just so happened to remember our "old computer" as Blue now refers to it. We dug out an old laptop, and I couldn't have been more grateful for this little gem. Though I will not be uploading photos or really anything for that matter, this sweet computer has gotten me by for two days now. And it's been a bit nostalgic.

I worked on my thesis with this very keyboard. (Okay, that's not really the happiest of remembrances.)

Whizbang did much of his seminary work here.(The papers he wrote are still here to prove it.)

It's been good to us.

There were a few moments yesterday when I thought this computer would pull through, that I might be able to blog something worthwhile. Before I blinked the day was gone and today happened.

If you're ever questioning just how perfect my life may be (and I'm only saying this in jest), you must ponder no more.

Today, my tiniest had approximately 72 accidents, climbed onto at least one table at least 5 times (consecutively, no less), threw up in the process of ingesting a very small amount of grown-up toothpaste, had 4 viral and explosive diapers, and dared to stop and remove his brother's DVD at least 3 times. Did I mention that he's also adorable? He's a talking fool and he brings on the charm. The boy also has killer dance moves. That's lucky for him. And for me, really. Because today really wasn't his best day.

As for my eldest, he didn't really care much about doing things Mom's way today. You might imagine that this causes some difficulties in our daily life. Though we also had some glorious moments, I should add that I caved and gave him a small cup of milk just before bed. In short order, he'd carried it into the bathroom and immediately spilled it e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.  It was the one room that had been scrubbed from top to bottom within the past three days.

I'm frazzled. I figured you should know that I love my life. I love my job. And I'm a disaster most of the time.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

By the way, my computer is ready. Let's hope that the regular back-up system actually worked all these years. If not, you'll hear my cries in your living room. Near or far. I'll be that much of a mess.

Here's to hoping.

Now I'd better head back to the kitchen and pick up every last dish towel that was enthusiastically removed from the drawer by tiny humans who were greatly entertained while I prepared dinner. The one they didn't eat.

So long from our increasingly unfangled nest. Sure, it's a word. Now.